Amazing how time flies, right? The days are long, but the years are short. For probably the fourth time this year, I have been tapped to counsel a friend of a friend that has fallen into this sisterhood of warriors. It's easy to just go about my life with these scars and experiences and memories, just as we all do. With the passage of time, my story stays with me in my heart and in my narrative, but until I have to dust it off and present it to a new audience, so to speak, it seems far away. I couldn't sleep last night. Maybe an hour or so. This state of hyper awareness, when you can hear every breath (mine, husband, dog), every movement, every kick on or off of the A/C, also gives way to a stillness. I have fired up my still hyper awareness, and then fired off a very long email to this poor lady who was just asking me why I chose implant reconstruction. I don't think she was expecting to read the dissertation that is awaiting her in her inbox. An excerpt: As an
And just like that, six years have come and gone. The years have seemed typical, I suppose, with laughter and love and friends and family. We have watched our son grow (and grow and grow) into an incredible young teenager. I have felt strong(ish), healthy, and whole. I have worked with countless patients, volunteered excessively, and lived life, always trying to be the best wife, mom, and friend. I have also been uncomfortable. I have felt, for the last six years, like my chest has been wrapped in the tightest industrial cellophane or tape you could imagine. I have been unable to do even one pushup. I have been unable to regain my shoulder flexion (overhead) strength, and I even tore my acellular dermal matrix (ADM or mesh) in a Pilates class. I have been unable to lie on my stomach. I have lost countless hours of sleep. I have been unable to receive any MRI imaging to check for implant integrity, which was recommended when I received my implants, as my insurance company con