Dear Tissue Expanders,
Tonight is our last night together. I'm breaking up with you.
It's been real, these last three and a half months. Really, real. So real that you have been on my mind for every single waking moment, as well as countless non-waking ones. Although our time has drawn to a close and you will be carelessly discarded in the morning for a pair of more demure implants, I wanted to take this opportunity to tell you how I feel: it's not me, it's you.
I thought I knew what I was getting into, choosing to go the tissue-expanders-to-implants route. I heard that there was pain and discomfort with each subsequent fill, but I had no idea that you would become such a constant, pervasive force. You have dominated most of my thoracic sensory nerve activity since Valentine's day. You are all I feel. Even now, after all this time, you're still the dominant presence. I still feel like I'm wrapped tightly, and I give you most of that credit. You have robbed me of hugs and sleep, two of the things I have needed the most over this span of time, and that has really kind of pissed me off.
I signed a document recently, giving my legal permission for the surgical facility to dispose of you in a "proper manner," but I have lustily dreamed of having an "Office Space" or "Goodfellas" moment with you.
Well, I have tried to keep this letter relatively civil, but I have run out of things to say. I wish you the very best, but only until around 7:30 tomorrow morning. After that, you're on your own.
XO,
Whit
Tonight is our last night together. I'm breaking up with you.
It's been real, these last three and a half months. Really, real. So real that you have been on my mind for every single waking moment, as well as countless non-waking ones. Although our time has drawn to a close and you will be carelessly discarded in the morning for a pair of more demure implants, I wanted to take this opportunity to tell you how I feel: it's not me, it's you.
I thought I knew what I was getting into, choosing to go the tissue-expanders-to-implants route. I heard that there was pain and discomfort with each subsequent fill, but I had no idea that you would become such a constant, pervasive force. You have dominated most of my thoracic sensory nerve activity since Valentine's day. You are all I feel. Even now, after all this time, you're still the dominant presence. I still feel like I'm wrapped tightly, and I give you most of that credit. You have robbed me of hugs and sleep, two of the things I have needed the most over this span of time, and that has really kind of pissed me off.
I signed a document recently, giving my legal permission for the surgical facility to dispose of you in a "proper manner," but I have lustily dreamed of having an "Office Space" or "Goodfellas" moment with you.
Well, I have tried to keep this letter relatively civil, but I have run out of things to say. I wish you the very best, but only until around 7:30 tomorrow morning. After that, you're on your own.
XO,
Whit
Love it!!!! So happy to hear that the next time I run into you I can give you a big ole hug!
ReplyDeleteWhat happened to a bon fire farewell??? So glad you are down to the final phase. Love you, girl
ReplyDelete